I just recently got out of a relationship which I knew from the beginning was not for me. I tried to just go with it and knew it would eventually run its course. When I would try to break up or distance myself I was then made to feel less than trash. I would take this over and over and over. I then thought I could just have sex. No, that would result in him thinking I wanted to be with him. I would tell him over and over that he was not the person I wanted to be with but he refused to hear me. He refused to listen to me and refused to let me go.
He did things to me mentally that I don’t know if I will ever get over. I took him back after all the awful things he did to me. However, when we were together I would remind myself that he was not the one. I was afraid. I am still afraid.
He tried to get me fired from my job and still chooses to stop by my work and act as if nothing is wrong. He tried to shame me regarding my child. He tried to blackmail me. As I write this I still hold back exactly what he did to me as I still can’t believe I went through it. I am still going through it.
Maybe writing it down will help heal me. Maybe it will destroy me. Maybe one day I will trust again.
Peace Out!
Dear Boo 